New Welsh Currency: Controversial public ‘sentiment’ testing into possible Welsh Dollar introduction

A Government backed newspaper web site has been secretly testing WORDS on its users in an effort to measure positive and negative sentiment.

The Daily Pest – not to be confused with the number 1 newspaper in north Wales The Daily Post, slipped in a reference to DOLLARS in a article about a hotel that Lenny Henry is redecorating.

We believe the ‘Pest’ is using the same controversial psychological testing techniques that has landed every mum’s favourite socialist network Facebook into ‘a bit of bother’ – by using WORDS to manipulate and test public emotion.

The idea is that people who read the article will then ‘take’ to social media – note the ‘575 SHARES’ and make a comment such as ‘Pfft’ which is social media speak for ‘not very good’ -this would be deemed negative, ‘Mehh’ couldn’t care less or ‘Yay” this would be seen as positive in ‘Web 2.0’ speak.

Comments are then analysed by ex colliery workers turned ‘social media experts’ who we believe are working in a top secret lab in the cellar of Connah’s Quay labour club.

BIG DATA is then extracted or ‘mined’ as these experts like to say, from the social media comments using a computer, the freshly mined BIG DATA is hand written into a spreadsheet and posted to policy makers in the Government.

The Government want to adopt the ‘Welsh Dollar’ as its believed it could save nearly £6000 over a 10 year period or wd 100,000 (Welsh Dollars)

Our source was at pains to stress the Welsh dollar should not be confused with Goverments internal currency wooden dollars which is generally only used for press releases.

We asked both the experts in the secret lab and the Daily Pest for a comment, but they declined telling us they didn’t exist, we did speak to one local councillor who wished not to be named.

He said:

“The very thought of a Welsh Dollar is really exciting, anything that stops graffiti and returns Shotton to its former glory is a vote winner with me.”

One Queensferry resident Mary Davis 72 said:

“I’m shocked about this, last week the helicopter was over my house for an hour.”